CHANGE….. Where are we looking?
Recent developments in India and the great hue and cry over
rape are unprecedented. It has now become a fashion statement:
“Change the mindset of people then the society will change”
I wonder who this society is. Is this something outside us? If not then
what change are we talking about?
I was reading an article the other day, which spoke about
the media being the biggest culprit by showing the negative and intoxicating
scenes repeatedly on different television channels. The newspapers which are
ever present in our drawing rooms have pictures and news which are called
‘Juicy’. Even the Film Industry makes movies which they feel are the reflection
of our society displaying the lustful, arousing, brutal and negative scenes
with songs having lyrics that are highly objectionable. The youth today hold all these film
personalities as their icons and role models. Do they have any responsibility
towards the society? The blame game is on and we are caught in this vicious
circle.
In all this we forget one important lesson that most of us
have learnt from our childhood– blame the others for your mistake. If a child falls and gets hurt, then it is
the mistake of the ground or the object that hurt the child and the child is
not responsible. We learn our first
lesson of blame game on day one.
With this as a backdrop, I would like to draw our attention
to a few statements made by many millions in our country. This stems from
experience and research:
1. "Lessons on integrity and ethics
should be taught in schools from childhood".
This, I see, is done in all schools. Schools also have one
book on moral education and even allocate a period for teaching the subject in
primary classes. The book continues to middle school as well. But we all forget
one thing rightly pointed by many:
"Actions speak louder
than words". children learn from the actions we do and not from the words
we speak"
Children are confused as the elders they emulate as role models say something
and do something.....
So Who Needs to Change First!!!!!!!!!
2. Kind of teachers we have in schools should
be good.
Schools (government and some private too) in India
have a strength of more than 50 to 100 students per class (the range is big).
A teacher gets only 35 minutes to interact. Would it be humanly possible for
any teacher to remember even the names of the students?? Given that she / he
doesn’t teach only one class but at least 6-7 classes. We forget that even these teachers have grown
up in the same system. Also teachers have to fulfill other responsibilities in
school which takes away their time, as they say.
Teaching is not yet a profession in our country and
does not attract people who score well in exams. All of us want only
Engineers and Doctors and NO TEACHERS, who supposedly help in making even these
Doctors and Engineers and are the people who are the backbone and ‘Form’ the future of our society. The pay
packets are still very low as compared to corporate world. Where do we get good
people?
This is very obvious from the fact that even prestigious
institutions like IITs and IIMs are finding it hard to get good faculty....
leave alone thousands of schools running from one room - in India.
B.Ed colleges are mushrooming all over without qualified faculty
or even buildings. Minimum marks required to become a teacher is 40% and most
students are such only. Top scorers move ahead abroad. The kind of training they get in nine months
is absolutely inadequate. A profession which is practice oriented has hardly
any time for practice. One can pay money and get a degree. What kind of
teachers are we looking for?
Who will Bring the Change???
3. Making
illegal money:
The child has been observing the parents
and elders talk about how to cheat people and make money. How to break
the rules and get their work done? How not to stand in queue but find easy ways
to get even the day to-day work done.
For example getting a driving license is made so simple.
Just pay money and get one. People who have not touched a vehicle have
driving license. Even if one drives well, the RTO officers fail the person,
unless their hands are greased. “The
child is observing all the time”.
Who will Bring the Change?
4.
Equality for men and women
Where in our society do we have equality?
The moment the child is born, we carve a niche of work and learning pattern for
them.
“We bring
our daughters up as boys but how many of us bring our boys up as girls?”
Stereotypes like men taking care of outside work while women
taking care of household work, men asked to pick up heavier stuff while women
not, men allowed to go out alone even at late hours with friends but women are not,
men can speak to anyone as loud but women cannot, a man can pee in full public
view but can a woman do the same, boys sent to hostel to study while girls not.....!!!!
are all over. Women feel shy of even asking for a toilet at public places,
which a man has to do for them. Isn’t this is a very normal physiological need
for both the genders.
Many of these may sound and look very small examples, but
leave an everlasting impact on the children who are observing all the time.
What lesson are we teaching them?
Who will Bring the Change?
5. The woman
Why are women, who lose their
husbands, not able to stand on their own and run back to parents? Why are women
sent to the other house after marriage, after having spent more than 20-25
years in one home? Why do women have to make adjustments in the new house while
man goes scot free? Even if the lone
woman lives a perfect life, people point out so much. She cannot talk to men
freely. Friends cannot visit her often as the men accompanying the wives would
get bored without any company.
Since their friends are married and have families to take
care of, the women cannot get together often while men, their counterparts have
all the fun. Children are keen observers.
6. I am Afraid of!!!
A father, a brother,
a husband - “all MEN” are afraid of their own kind – “another MAN” – for the
safety of his daughter, wife, mother and sister. Isn't it a shame for
men? The MEN............ can they never change? It is these MEN who
pose the biggest danger to the society.
Who will Bring the Change?
7.
Criminal parents:
I have seen parents who are saints, but the kids
are not. It is parents' mistake not the child's. They give excess
freedom to their children without making them understand why the freedom is
given. Parents want to spend time without children and send them away to
parks and friend’s home without even trying to know what their child is up to.
Today, parents give in to all their child’s needs and kids are smart enough to
understand how to get what they want, even if it is of no use to them or they
have similar stuff already.
Upbringing makes all the difference. Parents, grand parents, uncles, aunts
& neighbors, all have to be role models for change to take effect.
We are taught to fight for and demand our Fundamental Rights
without bothering about and neglecting the Fundamental Duties attached along
with. We forget to teach and learn that “both are two sides of the same
coin”. We forget to teach our children their duty towards the family and the
country.
Who will Bring the Change?
8.
Help thy neighbors.
We are a country where gossips about our neighbor are
given importance over their troubles. Unless our house in on fire, we are
least bothered about others. If a neighbors’ son is the ‘DADA’ and we get along
well with him, we seek his help in weeding out our adversaries.
People today do not even know who their neighbors are. We cannot be
hypocrites - wanting them at our convenience and keep them away at our whims
and fancies.
WHO WILL BRING THE CHANGE? The Answer:
Each INDIVIDUAL has to change to bring the change. As it is rightly said “Be
the change you want to see”
We all need to understand "THE SOCIETY IS US AND NOT OUTSIDE
US". We have to be the one who brings about any change. Books and
teachings alone cannot bring change.
Shouting slogans and
lighting candles is not going to bring the change. It will only help us remember the work that
needs to done and shows us the road ahead.
"CHANGE THE THOUGHTS, CHANGE THE ACTIONS, AND REST WILL FOLLOW".
